Jesus bombs as political convention keynoter

Republican convention organizers set up a special prayer room for the delegates. Presumably they were praying for victory in November. Not to be found lacking spiritually, the Democrats set up their own small sanctuaries.

As we well know, the invocation of God is standard fare in American politics.

But it was the selection of Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey as the Republican convention’s keynote speaker that got me thinking the great political gatherings could use a little gravitas beyond your run-of-the-mill politician.

Why a mere Christie when you could have Jesus Christ himself? Well, not exactly a second coming, but perhaps Clint Eastwood could deliver a few choice gospel lines for the GOP. There wouldn't be an empty chair in the house.

The Democrats still have the chance to trot out a savior impersonator. George Clooney comes to mind.

The Good Book can get wild at times, but if the Republicans didn’t vet Eastwood, why should either party muzzle Jesus?

What might the famed Jewish rabbi say to Democrats and Republicans alike? I’m certain he wouldn’t want to take sides. How could he? From his perspective, they are pretty much the same.

But let's let him have his say....

There he is up there on the great national stage, partisan delegates range before him in awe. In hotel suites, millionaires, even billionaires, who’ve paid for the proceedings and the whole electoral process, monitor the great event on massive screens.

The crowd hushes in reverence, and the Savior gets down to cases about the economy and those who are “under water” or saddled with debt of all kinds.

“Forgive the debt owned by another as God forgives that owned by you.” The crowd's silence turns uneasy.

“Do not give your money to one who repays with interest. Give your money to one who won’t repay at all.”

As an aside, he reminds his audience, “It is easier for camels to enter the eye of a needle than for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God.”

In the back of the hall, someone boos and yells, “Socialist!”

Pointing to the heckler, Jesus counters, “As you notice the speck in another’s eye, be aware of the tree in your own.”

Some begin to squirm as hissing, booing seep over the floor.

The voice of the young rabbi from Galilee rises above the tumult as he notes the homeless in the streets of American cities and invokes the deeds of the good Samaritan who came to the aid of the traveler, beaten and left for dead.

“Several stepped around the seemingly lifeless body, but the Samaritan stopped, he cleaned and disinfected the traveler’s wounds, he put him on his donkey and brought him to an inn, he gave the owner two denarii and promised to pay the rest when he returned.”

“He should have left him to die!” comes a voice from the crowd. Others chime in, “Let him die! Let him die!”

Then, as he looks out over the well-scrubbed and now outraged delegates, Jesus preaches, “Only the wretched are guiltless. The mighty will be brought down; the lowly will be raised up!”

Next he turns his speech to the hundreds of billions spent in "defense" of the great democracy. He tersely commands, “Love your enemies.”

Defense contractors head for the exits as the hall resounds with booing and anger. “Who is this nut?” someone yells. “He’s crazier than Eastwood!”

Jesus continues. “If someone strikes your right cheek, offer your left. If someone takes your coat, offer your suit. If someone forces you to go one mile, offer to go another.”

“Nut case!” “Idiot!”

Undeterred, Jesus turns next to the vicious partisan attacks that dominate the nation’s politics. “A nation divided is a nation defeated. A household divided is a household destroyed.”

No one knows where the chant begins, but suddenly the words are broadcast throughout the nation. “Remove him! Take him away! Security! Security!!”

And so the organizers, realizing their terrible mistake, escort Jesus off the stage. Outside he is hustled into a waiting patrol car.

He is charged with distrupting the peace.

The next day, the prayer rooms, sponsored by several large banks and oil companies, are closed. The wheels of the great democracy grind on. The parties choose their leaders by acclamation.

They are men in tune with the times and the will of the People.

Ever considered joining the Tea Party?

It was bound to happen. A liberal/radical friend told me recently that he is seriously considering joining the Tea Party.

“That’s where the energy is,” he said. True, but I think he was mostly saying that the Democratic Party is where the energy isn’t. But I took him at his word. How about joining the Tea Party?

We talked...

About populism, third parties and exploring common ground with the Tea Party.

I even brought up my occasional musings about Cascadia, a secessionist nation bounded by the Pacific and the Cascades and running from the Canadian border to Point Reyes in Northern California. (I quickly add that the boundaries are negotiable, and Ernest Callenbach’s “Ecotopia” may or may not provide a guidance.)

I confess I have given thought to finding common ground with the Tea Party. Where does the party overlap with my own brand of populism?

Could some Tea Party-ers be peeled off into a broader populist movement? Is the Tea Party interested in this country actually being at peace? Have party members considered that our economy may be welded to war? What would America at perpetual peace with the world actually look like?

Imagine!

Are folks in the Tea Party interested in cutting the bloated military budget? Talk about deficit reduction!

Would any of them be interested in putting a lid on obscene CEO salaries via the "T" word? Do they think it is good for political and economic power to be in the hands of the certifiably greedy?

Do they really want to eliminate the estate tax?

Are all taxes bad? (There's a "wedge" question!)

Are any in the Tea Party beginning to suspect that they are being used by the rich to further the cause of gross inequity? Have they considered that issues such as abortion might resolve themselves in a society committed to employment opportunity, excellent education and health care?

Where are they on corporations exporting jobs abroad? Where are they with corporations that evade taxes and the laws that allow them to do so?

How comfortable are they with the corporate control of the Republican Party and its agenda? Likewise the Democratic Party? Could the same "wizard" be behind the curtain of both parties?

Do they feel the need for profound changes in our constitution in order to establish a truly democratic nation?

Do they really agree with the faith-based agenda of social conservatives?

Where are they on Gay rights? On human rights?

Do they believe in supporting human rights abroad? Do the believe we should end our dependence on Middle Eastern oil? Do they realize that the dependence compromises our support for human rights?

Where is the Tea Party on spending billions to support the militaries of Saudi Arabia and Israel — to say nothing of Iraq and Afghanistan? How about trade with thug-run China and Russia?

You get the picture.

Populists and Tea Party members need to talk.

Not yell, but talk — and listen.

If that means joining the Tea Party, however briefly, it might well be worth the time.

One thing is for sure: we are getting nowhere fast in the Democratic Party. And my suspicion is that a lot of folks in the Tea Party are thinking the same way about the Republican Party.

The more we realize the present two-party political system is rigged to favor the rich and powerful few, the more energetic, strategic disaffection will increase.