It’s time again for me to save the 1-800-GOT-JUNK people from themselves by removing their signs.
Another way I'll help is by using the 1-800-GOT-JUNK name a lot in this post.
They'll like that, I know because the company likes having the 1-800-GOT-JUNK name everywhere.
That's the problem.
signs are going up AGAIN all over the neighborhood.
I really should invoice 1-800-GOT-JUNK for my sign removal work. Then again, I do get paid off in their 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs, which I keep after removal from the shoulders of our streets.
probably collected four or five dozen 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs over the years. I’ve
even found 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs on Terwilliger
Parkway. Who knows, 1-800-GOT-JUNK may plant its signs in our parks and cemeteries.
To 1-800-GOT-JUNK, the entire city is a billboard.
The 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs are moderately useful to me because they usually have a blank side where I can write with my medium-point Sharpie. When my wife has her annual pottery sale, I write stuff like “Pottery Sale today!” on the blank sides and put the signs up early in the morning.
also written “Impeach Bush” and “Peace Now!” on 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs.
Of course I mask out the “1-800-GOT-JUNK” on the other side.
Besides getting free signs to write on, why am I doing 1-800-GOT-JUNK a favor?
Well, it’s clear that 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs, which are not intended to come down after a day’s exposure on our streets, are littering the public right-of-way. You’ll notice that, with the exception of Realtors (who, alas, are a special case), 1-800-GOT-JUNK is the only company (except, until recently, Jobdango
) to put up signs in the neighborhood. Oh, a few gutter cleaners and painters post on utility poles, but they are fairly cooperative when I tell them they are breaking the law.
Obsessed as I am, I carry a long metal rod in my car for knocking down such signs.
But 1-800-GOT-JUNK doesn
’t seem to care that it is breaking the law by putting up the signs. 1-800-GOT-JUNK knows the city has better things for its police to do than bust 1-800-GOT-JUNK.
Still, what company in its right corporate mind actually wants to be known for so blatantly and visibly violating the law?
And the answer is … 1-800-GOT-JUNK.
Not smart. So I’ve
taken to making 1-800-GOT-JUNK folks look smarter than they are.
Right now I have five newly removed 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs in my garage (see photo). I happen to know that each costs about $10, which I suppose is pretty cheap publicity. In this case it is cheap BAD publicity. And it junks up the neighborhood. Got Junk indeed.
In the past, I have called the owner of our local franchise to inform him about the problem with 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs. His name is Tom. His number is not 1-800-GOT-JUNK (which gets you an operator in Peoria or some distant American burg where they now actually pay people less than folks in phone call centers in Bangkok or Mumbai
Tom’s number is — should you ever be so moved to call (hint, hint) — 503-209-9253. Tom is actually a very nice guy. After listening to me politely but firmly inform him of the downside of his sign advertising, Tom always assures me that he never. EVER, will put up 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs in Hillsdale
A few months go by and, as sure as the daffodils sprout in the March and local coyotes munch on neighborhood cats, out come his 1-800-GOT-JUNK signs.
Tom clearly has a recall problem. I’ve
come to think of it as an occupational hazard resulting from years in the 1-800-GOT-JUNK business.
given up on Tom’s getting the message that he’s breaking the law and alienating a lot of people like me. I also tell him, as an extra incentive, that I will publicize what 1-800-GOT-JUNK is doing, but he just doesn
A likely possibility is that Tom is getting his orders from 1-800-GOT-JUNK corporate headquarters in someplace like New Jersey, the Cayman Islands or Southern California where breaking the law in places like Oregon is written into franchise agreements. (Okay, okay, my on-line research tells me the 1-800-GOT-JUNK headquarters is in Vancouver, B.C. where they ought to know better.)
I sometimes dream that when the world is a much better place, the CEO of 1-800-GOT-JUNK, who turns out to be one Brian Scudamore
, will call to thank me for my years of service on behalf of the 1-800-GOT-JUNK company.
Until then, I’ll keep busy helping 1-800-GOT-JUNK in my own unassuming way.
Labels: 1-800-GOT-JUNK, Brian Scudamore, Portland, signs