Impeachment slogan baffles hundreds

If I was going to get the attention of a few hundred motorists at our Friday evening Hillsdale peace vigils, I decided I needed to freshen my message.

“Get out Now!” and “On to Plan B: Impeach” were getting stale.

So with very little thought and too much whimsy, I scrawled out:

“Impeachment: Sur La Table! Nancy”

Because I arrived at the busy corner of Capitol Highway and Sunset Boulevard early, before my fellow protesters, my new sign had no context.

There I was alone, waving a really weird sign.

Drivers who cared enough to notice seemed mildly perplexed.

What’s that? Some kind of shill for Sur La Table, the up-scale cooking utensil store in the Pearl District?

James Beard meets Robert’s Rules of Order?

Nancy?

Nancy who?

Thankfully, my fellow demonstrators soon arrived with their same-old, same-old, but lucid signs. "Support our troops. Bring them home!" and such.

Motorists began honking encouragement again.

I was about to give up on my sign when a woman behind the wheel gave me an expansive thumbs up along with a bumper-to-bumper smile.

Astonished, I pointed at the sign and looked at her quizzically — just to make sure she got it.

Yes, she nodded demonstratively. Two thumbs up. YES!

I continued to hoist the sign. Eventually two other drivers broadly shared their approval.

It was a stretch, but they got the reference to (just in case you didn’t) Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. They knew that she had declared impeachment was “off the table,” and they understood the translation from the French to be “on the table.”

Yes, yes, and YES!

So it was fun while it lasted, but, let’s face it, it’s all too clever by half.

So what next?

I'm thinking, I'm thinking ....

TV-B-Gone zaps the White House

Steve Brannon, who alerted me to TV-B-Gone, has mused that a Cellphone-B-Gone might come in handy. Out driving, you could zap that zoned-out talker/driver, who would just think the zapping was another dropped call.

And if a Cell-B-Gone is possible, why not a Bush-B-Gone, packaged with a requisite Cheney-B-Gone?

That would give us Pelosi-B-President.

Not that I would wish our current leadership permanent off-dom, but a temporary disappearance wouldn’t hurt.

Like the TV-B-Gone, the Bush-B-Gone could turn Bush back on—just later, say after the next election.

We might actually give responsibility for turning Bush on again (and interesting phrase in itself) to a bi-partisan “Return-George-On” Commission. Its membership might be something along the lines of John Kerry, Al Gore, Al Franken, Jon Stewart, Donald Rumsfeld, Ann Coulter, and Mama and Papa Bush. If only Molly Ivins were still around to serve, alas....

The understanding would be that a returned-on Baby Bush would be “extraordinarily renditioned" to some appropriate place. I’m thinking Elba, Abu Ghraib, or, best of all, Guantanamo—in an orange jump suit with goggles, ear-guards and no lawyer.

Fair's fair.