Tap water drinkers, mind your grammar!

I almost chased down a motorist this evening for displaying a bothersome bumper sticker.

Mind you, I wasn’t angry. I even agreed with the sticker’s sentiment, but the grammar gave a worthy cause a bad name.

The bumper sticker read:

I only drink tap water

Given the sticker's message, I assumed the driver would be sober, not drunk like the infamous bicyclist who last week used his bike to bludgeon a critical motorist.

I know what meaning the tap water bumper sticker intended to convey, but we can safely assume that the driver does more than merely, or only, drink tap water.

She may wash dishes with it, or rinse off lettuce, or water house plants.

Picky, picky, I know, and I deserve whatever is coming to me. Just don’t pour tap water on me.

The last time I went off on a grammatical toot, two grammarians wrote to point out grammatical errors in my post.

Who knows what howlers lurk above?

Someone, I’m sure.