Understanding Tepper Time

On the business page of the Times yesterday we learned that, while the economy was tanking last year, “top” hedge-fund managers were doing just fine, thank you.

How fine? The word “surreal” comes to mind.

David Tepper, the top earner, hauled in $4 billion (That's with a "B").

George Soros snagged $3.3 billion. James Simons tallied $2.5 billion.

And on and on.

The lowest paid among the top ten, the relatively impoverished Philip Falcone, garnered a mere $825 million.

Indeed, the Times told us, the 25 top hedge-fund managers averaged $1 billion each.

The untethered, billowing numbers float before our plebeian eyes.

We know that this is insane, but we can’t quite reel in the madness.

The Times is not helpful. It casts the story as some kind of race with Tepper crossing the line ahead of a Gucci-heeled pack. He rose to the “top spot” in the hedge fund sweepstakes. Soros was the “runner-up.” One manager’s compensation “edged out” another’s , etc.

It’s all just another horse race, score card or post-season play-off bracket.

Right.

No, let’s put Tepper’s $4 billion into the larger “societal context,” as they say.

That's the context that includes us. We live day by day. It turns out Tepper and friends do too, but with a massive monetary difference.

Let’s do the math on Tepper by breaking his compensation into “Tepper time.”

In one average day last year, Tepper took in nearly $11 million.

That’s for EACH of his 365 days.

I presume, no doubt falsely, that this guy works Saturdays and Sundays, 24/7, to earn $4 billion.

In just one hour of that 24-hour day, Tepper made $458,000.

Are you still with me?

One hour....$458,000.

What do you make in an hour? What do you make in a year? And how hard do you work to make it? Do you perform some useful, worthwhile service?

Pay attention here. This is important.

When Tepper awakens from an eight-hour sleep, he’s just pocketed $3.6 million in his PJs.

In a single minute, Tepper makes $7,633. That’s every minute of every 24-hour-long day.

In the time it takes this guy to shave and shower, he’s made what the average Jill and Joe make in a year — if they are fortunate enough to have a decent paying job.

In a New York second, Tepper is $127 richer.

Inhale, exhale. With each breath, Tepper is pulling in roughly $500.

Which gives real meaning to "living and breathing money."

Remember in January when we were voting on a tax package in order to keep the schools and other public services alive? The opposition labeled the measure “job-killing” taxes. It was a nasty little campaign. A few million got dropped just to get the word out.

Do you happen to recall how much money were were arguing over?

$733 million.

Tepper raked in that in just over two months, 66 days to be exact.

While Tepper’s clock was running at the annual rate of $4 billion last year, the Portland School district had an annual budget of $631.7 million.

Let the record show that Tepper’s annual compensation would have run six plus school districts the size of Portland’s. His annual take is roughly what 6,666 teachers (paid $60 grand each) make in a year.

Which leads to three obvious questions:

1. What does Tepper actually do to make him 6,666 times more valuable than a teacher? Basically, he and his fellow hedgsters gamble with other people's money.

2. What does it do to democracy when plutocrats have this kind of money to throw at legislation and politicians?

3. In a world where the poorest members of the masses are on the streets struggling to get by on $2 a day, just what are Tepper and his billionaire buddies doing with their hedge fund largess? I'll leave it to them to answer.

Let’s say you are scraping by on $700 a year in Bangladesh or Burundi. In the time it takes a Tepper to tee up his Titleist or sip a martini, he’s got you covered — for the year. If only.

Consider this: in Tepper time, it took the eight seconds to read the previous two sentences about grinding world poverty. On the Tepper-meter, that clocked out at $1,000.

Face it, the message isn’t worth Tepper's time of day — or night.

Hedge-fund managers have more compelling places to do think about than Bangladesh or Burundi. Switzerland or the Cayman Islands perhaps? Burmuda or Bimini?

Some Quaker questions for our times

In this time of greed-driven elitist wealth, of grinding, widespread poverty, of massive consumer and governmental debt, of foreclosures, of advertising chicanery, of layoffs, of homelessness, of the fast buck, I recently came across this “query” from our Religious Society of Friends (Quakers).

Quaker queries invite us to test our beliefs against the ways we live our lives. This particular set of questions was about money, wealth and poverty. How at odds the questions are with those pushed to the fore by “The American Dream” and our acquisitive culture.

Are we mindful, careful, and Spirit-led in our relationship to wealth and resources?

Is our use of wealth consistent with Friends’ testimonies of integrity, equality, social order, peace, right sharing of resources, and care for the earth?

If we have resources, do we share them generously, with humility and care for others? Do we give with grace? Do we give wisely?

If we do not have resources, do we accept with grace what others share? In times of our lives when we choose poverty, are we able to do so without envy or obsession?

Do we take care not to judge others, or ourselves, by the world’s criteria of wealth and status? How do we answer that of God in those who have less than we do? In those who have more than we do?

Do we keep to moderation and simplicity in our daily lives?

How do our choices around money, time, and energy reflect the working of the Spirit in our lives and in the world?

Are we clear, as a community and as individuals, that we are stewards and not owners of the property and resources in our care?

The Poverty of Wealth

One of the the many goads to my conscience comes in the mail ten times a year.

It’s called the Washington Newsletter of the Friends Committee on National Legislation, which is affiliated with Quakers.

The July/August issue addresses poverty and inequity in this country. The slender. eight-page newsletter does lays out the problems clearly and concisely.

In this country, 34 percent of the nation’s private wealth is held by 1 percent of the nation’s households. And 90 percent of U.S. households share just 28.7 percent of the weath.

It gets worse. The poorest 40 percent struggle to survive on 1 percent.

In the same issue, the editors offer a nine-question “poverty quiz.” You can download it, and its answers by going here.

To me one of the most telling facts about the people who run this country and its economy is revealed in the answer to question 9:

Question: At the 350 largest public companies, the average CEO’s total direct compensaton was $11.6 million in 2005 (my note: the average is much more now). How long does it take the average CEO to earn the annual (the emphasis is mine) pay of a full-time minimum wage worker? (a) two hours (b) six hours (c) one day

Yes, one of those is the correct answer.

Those who perpetuate this sort of inequity, who place their own extravagant personal interests so far ahead of the basic needs of others (health, education, housing), are the very same people who control our political system, our media, our country and our destiny.

Can there be any doubt why there is a “populist” resurgence in this country? And why so many are saying, "Bring it on!"

Also in the July/August issue:
• “Slow the Rush to Corn-Based Ethanol”
• “Habeas Corpus is Essential to Due Process”

Seven books for the New Year

A windfall in the form of a massively generous holiday check from my mother-in-law prompted me to go on a book-buying binge.

The purchases were made on Amazon, at the downtown Powell’s, and in Multnomah Village at Annie Bloom’s Books and Post-Hip store of used CDs and remaindered books.

Here’s what whim and interest led me to purchase:

Ellen Lupton's “Thinking with Type,” because type is beautiful and, McLuhan-like, conveys a message within the message. The carefully crafted book’s design and illustrations celebrate the topic.

D.J. Taylor’s “Orwell,” which I hope deepens the answer to the question: Why does the world need another biography of Orwell? Before I read the book, my own answer is that the world can never know too much about Orwell and his works...and is in danger of knowing too little.

Jeffrey Sach’s “The End of Poverty,” which was remaindered at Powell’s. A bad sign for a topic of this timely weight. Solemn fact: 15,000 children die of malnutrition and starvation each DAY in Africa. Fifty will have died in the time it takes you to read this post.

“The Lessons of St. Francis,” also remaindered at Powell’s, an equally bad sign for similar reasons relating to our times.

S.J. Perelman’s “The Swiss Family Perelman” with illustrations by the estimable master of line, Al Hirschfeld...also remaindered, a good sign for me. Conclusion: with astonishing flourish, acerbity and accuracy, Perelman was the fastest word slinger in the East.

P.D. James’ “The Children of Men,” proclaims on the cover, “soon to be a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE.” A review of the film, with a description of the plot about a childless world, inspired me to buy the book.

Peachpit Press’s Visual Quick Start Guide to HTML….This one’s for you, dear Red Electric reader. I hope it will tell me, among other things, how to center a photo’s caption and “flush right” its credit line.

This modest pile now teeters atop earlier piles. Because they are on the uppermost stratum, these volumes will be the first I reach for. Either directly or indirectly, I hope to share their eclectic content in the weeks to come.