Decent exposure: Women without veils, men without pants

Burka-gate in France needs some serious analysis.

I’m here to help.

As I understand it, the burkas (and headscarves and billowing, shapeless abayas) are intended to suppress lust among men folk.

Based on extensive personal research, I’m inclined to think it doesn’t work. Instead it triggers wild, fill-in-the-blank erotic fantasy.

No, the best way to stay the libidos of males is to require them to take off their pants. That way we can plainly see who is lustful and who isn’t.

Come to think of it, we are pretty repressive when it comes to covering up everyone, for whatever reason. A principal reason is to sustain foot traffic to Macy’s.

Where to begin? A “No shirt, no shoes, no service” mentality extends everywhere. The laws against public nudity are well established in most so-called “civilized” cultures.

So it's a good thing France is getting the ball rolling.

If Muslim women are prohibited in France from covering their heads, why shouldn't women anywhere be prohibited from covering, say, their breasts? And why shouldn't men be prohibited from hiding their genitals?

No, this whole cover-up business is all culturally dictated and is patently discriminatory, except on the lawless internet, where you can see as much or as little as you want.

One anti-burka argument in France has it that banning the burka is necessary because its folds provide a hiding place for bombs. Just today in Iraq, a woman suicide bomber concealed her explosive device in her abaya. Fifty-three people (and counting) died.

So what about “bra-bombers”? We have already seen male underwear and shoe bombers. Clothes of all kinds make swell explosives hiding places.

It won’t make Jockey, Maiden-Form, Calvin Klein or Hanes happy, but I say off with them all.

Increasingly our very survival depends on the cultural acceptance of buck-nakedness.

Besides, think of how universal nudity would expedite airport security. No need for invasive scanners when there's nothing to invade.

To stay warm, we could try hugging. Sounds like fun. Besides, it might just lead to world peace, that would end the bombs and we could all put our clothes back on.

But wait, that's what got us into trouble in the first place. . . .

Never mind.