Friday, September 28, 2007

Dwight "Burgerville" Jaynes to the rescue!

Dwight Jaynes is so okay with the Portland Public Schools selling naming rights in exchange for big corporate donations that he’s willing to transform his alma mater, Cleveland High, into “Burgerville High.”

No kidding.

Hyperbole aside, in today's Portland Tribune, Jaynes lauds the Portland School Board’s decision earlier this week to allow the school superintendent free rein in turning over display space at gyms, and any other school facility for that matter, to corporate logos and advertising in exchange for cash. The board's policy is no policy.

As I wrote earlier, those of us in the Coalition for Commercial Free Schools maintain that corporate donations should be acknowledged with simple, one-time recognition and perhaps an unobtrusive plaque. The real reward for the corporations should be an educated work force and citizenry. That’s not a gift but an investment.

In short, the school board desperately needs a policy.

Jaynes, in his sports column in today’s Portland Tribune, says “Baloney” to our views. Apparently he wants the public schools to sell off and transform the public’s facilities into billboards rather than lobby for stable school-funding reform.

You can read more about the sane approach to school funding at Steve Rawley’s blog, More Hockey Less War.

Burgerville High” huh?

How about this, Dwight, since names mean so little to you, why don’t you and the Tribune cut a deal with the school district on behalf of dear old Burgerville High?

Rumor has it that the school’s locker room toilets could use some serious plumbing work. In exchange for a corporate and personal donation to fix the pipes, you could have your face, as it appears with your column, and the Tribune logo on the inside of toilet stall doors.

Talk about a captive audience.

But why stop there? Sell off your own prominent and hence commercially valuable name to Burgerville, the company, and give the money to Burgerville High.

Henceforth, the former Dwight Jaynes shall be known as “Burgerville Jaynes.”

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Steve said...

I'm glad I finished my coffee before reading this, or my keyboard would be a mess.

"Talk about a captive audience."

Ha!

2:26 PM  

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